The Doorstep Girls Page 37

  ‘School then, for a couple of years, then he could start work as an apprentice or something,’ he murmured vaguely. ‘Or get a passage out to you when he was old enough.’

  Ruby got up from the bed and started to dress. ‘I don’t know,’ she said. ‘I’ll have to think about it.’

  ‘What do you mean?’ He stared at her in astonishment. ‘What is there to think about? This is a chance in a lifetime for us! It means we can be together.’

  She turned towards him and gave him a brilliant smile. ‘You’ve just tekken ’wind out of my sails,’ she said. ‘That’s all.’

  He smiled back at her. ‘I know I said that we could be ourselves, but you could create a different persona for yourself. You would be my wife – well almost, no-one would know that you were not, but you would need to alter your speech, put on a little style – a little la-di-da, you know!’

  ‘Of course,’ she agreed. ‘I wouldn’t want you to be ashamed of me. We wouldn’t want anyone to guess that I was only a kept woman.’

  A slight crease narrowed his eyes, as if he didn’t know whether or not she was joking. But he didn’t say anything more about it until he left, when he said that he would make enquiries at the docks about passages out.

  She watched him as usual from the bedroom window and waved as he drove off, flourishing his whip as he went and with a huge smile on his face. She turned away. What am I to do? How can I go with him? How do I know that I can trust him never to leave me alone in a strange country? If he can abandon his lawful wife, surely then he could also leave me! He says he loves me, but does he? Does he love me enough? And most of all, do I love him? She lay down on the soft feather bed and buried her head in the pillow. No, she reflected. I don’t. I love someone else.

  Daniel walked slowly back to Middle Court. He had watched the driver descend from the chaise, tie his horse to a lamp post and, with his hand familiarly on Ruby’s shoulder, lead her into a house. He was a gentleman of quality, judging by his mode of dress and the embellishments on the handsome vehicle. He had wanted to stay, to verify how long the man was in the house, but some kind of common decency made him turn away. He also felt quite sick and angry at the thought of what might be happening behind those walls.

  He knocked on the door of the Sheppards’ house. Grace opened it and invited him in.

  ‘You look tired, Daniel,’ she said. ‘Come and sit down. Did you find your father?’

  He nodded and greeted Grace’s mother, who was crouched over a bucket peeling potatoes. ‘Yes. He told me that he and Ma had had a blazing row and she said that she was going and not coming back.’ He didn’t add that his father hadn’t been overjoyed to see him, nor that he’d said he was glad to see the last of the dowly old woman. ‘He’s found lodgings with a widow.’

  Lizzie Sheppard gave a grunt, and, wiping her hands on a piece of rag, said that she was slipping out for a minute. Daniel glanced at Grace as she went out and gave a wry grin. ‘Is your mother being diplomatic?’ he asked. ‘She has no liking for my father.’

  ‘She probably thinks we want to talk,’ Grace said. ‘Which we do. I’ve got things to tell you.’

  ‘And I’ve things to tell you.’ He hesitated. ‘And things to ask you too. I’ve just seen Ruby.’

  ‘Yes, and –?’ Grace’s expression remained calm and impassive.

  ‘I saw her first with Jamie. I’m afraid I gave him a bloody nose because of what he said about her – and then I saw her with somebody else.’ He stopped and looked away. ‘It didn’t take a great deal of imagination to know what was going on.’

  ‘She was going to tell you herself, Daniel. She wanted to explain why. But you must have suspected?’ Grace responded. ‘You knew how things were when you left! We hadn’t any work and Ruby must have hinted at what she was going to do.’

  ‘She did,’ he interrupted. His mouth turned down and a frown furrowed his forehead. ‘And I’ve tried not to think of it all ’time I’ve been away. Then when I saw you both together, you looking so pale and frail and Ruby so –’

  ‘Plump and beautiful?’ She gave a sad smile. ‘She might well have finished up in ’workhouse or on ’streets if it hadn’t been for Mr Newmarch.’

  ‘You didn’t,’ he said angrily. ‘So why should Ruby?’

  ‘Because I had my ma and da to support me. Even though it’s been hard for them too, we pulled together. Ruby never had that!’ she said in defence of her friend. ‘She’s supported her mother and Freddie for years.’

  There was a movement from the mattress in the corner as Freddie heard his name, and Daniel noticed him for the first time.

  ‘He’s not well,’ Grace explained, ‘although he’s on ’mend now.’ Her voice dropped to a whisper. ‘Bessie died of opium poisoning and Ruby blames Jamie.’

  Daniel frowned, then his face cleared. ‘So that was what ’fuss was about! Jamie was in a right old state too.’

  ‘No wonder.’ Grace’s mother came into the room and caught the tail end of the conversation. ‘I’ve just heard that Jamie’s mother, Nell, married her grocer yesterday. Jamie’s been given his marching orders and told not to bother his ma, nor show his face in ’shop! He’s out of a job,’ she said with some satisfaction. ‘He’ll have to try for proper work, just like ’rest of us.’

  ‘Ma’s got work again,’ Grace told Daniel. ‘Even though her back is still bad.’ She smiled at her mother. ‘But I hope I can soon support her and she can give it up.’

  ‘You’ve got work? Doing what?’ Daniel asked.

  Grace reached for the shawl which she and her mother shared since her own had been stolen. ‘Let’s go for a walk,’ she suggested. ‘I need some air. Then I’ll tell you all about it.’

  CHAPTER FORTY-THREE

  ‘It’s a wonderful opportunity, Grace,’ Daniel said when she had told him of the tour she had been on, and Miss Morris’s offer. They leaned on a railing overlooking the dock in the centre of the town. ‘It’ll change your life.’ He glanced at her and she thought how sad he seemed. ‘I’ll miss you, though,’ he said. ‘We might not see you again, or at least not often.’

  ‘I don’t know.’ She didn’t attempt to deny it. ‘I can’t see into ’future. But of course I’ll come back. Ma and Da will be here, and Ruby.’ She sighed. ‘I worry about Ruby. She needs somebody to look after her.’ She stole a sly look at him. ‘She’ll always need somebody she can trust.’

  His face took on a sulky expression. ‘She’s got somebody to look after her, hasn’t she? This Newmarch gent! He’s set her up in a house, hasn’t he? She’s not living in Middle Court, anybody with half an eye can see that! She’ll be well set up. She’ll not need you or me any more!’

  ‘Don’t be angry, Daniel,’ she said softly, guessing why he was so angry. ‘I’d hoped that you would remain her friend when I was away.’ Her voice dropped even further. ‘I hadn’t realized that you’d rather she’d starved to death or gone to ’workhouse, instead of doing what she’s doing. You’re just like my father,’ she added, pokerfaced. ‘He’s totally prejudiced against fallen women, too. And yet I know that he’s not without flaws.’

  Daniel gasped. ‘I don’t think that, Grace! I don’t! I do understand why Ruby took this path, and I’d rather she was with just that one man than out on ’streets earning her living! It’s just that –’ He put his hand to his forehead. ‘Well, I’ve come home, brimming with ideas about what I was going to do. I wanted to share them with you and Ruby. Now I hear that Ma’s dead, you’re going away and Ruby is – is –’ He stopped and took a breath. ‘My life is shattered,’ he muttered. ‘I need somebody too, just like Ruby does. I discovered that when I was at sea. I need to share with somebody special.’

  ‘What are your ideas?’ she asked. ‘Are you not going back to sea?’

  ‘No.’ He shook his head. ‘I realized that it’s not ’life for me, though I’ve earned good money. It was after we’d collected ’timber to bring back that I noticed there were short bits of wood lying around on
’dock side. I asked ’captain if I could collect them to make some trinkets. He said that I could and when I wasn’t on watch, I whittled some things.’ He shrugged. ‘You know, like that stuff in ’sack that I gave you for burning.’

  Grace smiled. Here was yet another story she had to tell. Daniel didn’t know that his wooden toys had saved them from near-starvation.

  ‘So I made a couple of dolls and gave them to ’bosun for his bairns,’ he continued, ‘and then I made a ship which ’captain said he’d like to buy from me. He gave me five bob for it. I think I could probably have asked for more, except that he knew I’d got ’wood for free. So,’ his face broke into a grin, which was more like the Daniel of old, ‘I decided that with ’money that I’ve saved from voyage, I could rent a workshop and make toys and sell them in ’Market Place. I reckon that folks would buy them.’

  Grace turned to him, her eyes bright and enthusiastic. ‘I know for a fact that they would, Daniel. But you need somebody to help you, somebody to dress the dolls, to paint ’ships and hang ’sails, and to sell them.’

  His grin faded. ‘Who? You’re going away, Ma’s gone. And Ruby –?’ He shook his head and looked thoroughly dejected. ‘She wouldn’t want to. She doesn’t need to. Why would she?’

  When Grace arrived back home a large parcel was waiting for her. It had been brought, her mother said, by someone called Molly. ‘She said she was Miss Emerson’s maid.’ Her mother had been impressed by Molly’s manner and dress. ‘She was very neat and tidy and said to say good luck to you.’

  ‘That was nice of her,’ Grace murmured. ‘But what’s in ’parcel? Something from Miss Emerson?’

  She undid the string and pulled away the brown paper to find a selection of clothing and footwear, some of which Grace recognized: she had borrowed them when she went on the tour. Other garments looked as if they were new. Inside the parcel was a letter written on perfumed paper.

  ‘Dear Miss Grace,’ the letter began. ‘I have just heard a whisper that you are going away to help Miss Morris with a social project, and it struck me that perhaps the enclosed garments might be of use to you. Please do not be offended by the offering, for I will explain that by accepting them, you would be obliging and relieving me of the necessity of giving them away to others, who might not appreciate them. You see, I am shortly to be married to my dear country parson, and the mode of dress required for my new role will be quite different from the one with which I am familiar in my father’s house.

  ‘I hope that I shall have the pleasure of your company once you are settled with Miss Morris, for Mr Nicholson’s living is in a nearby parish and so we will be neighbours. Mr Martin Newmarch has also promised that he will call on us when time permits.

  ‘I remain yours sincerely,

  Daisy Emerson.’

  ‘Goodness, Ma! What do you think? Should I accept them?’ Grace held up a rose silk gown in front of her.

  Her mother sat down on the bed. ‘Well! Were you thinking of going in ’rags you’re wearing now?’ Her face creased into an expression which might have been either pain or happiness. ‘I’d been worrying over how we’d dress you if – when you went, though I know you’ve got that grey one that Miss Emerson gave you. Try it on,’ she said eagerly. ‘Go on, afore your father gets home and calls it charity.’

  Grace tried on the dress and the petticoats that went beneath it, and was laughingly holding up a pair of cotton drawers for her mother’s inspection, when someone knocked. She quickly hid that garment beneath the blanket and with a smile on her face went to open the door.

  ‘Mr Newmarch!’ She dipped her knee and invited him in. He gave a small bow to her mother, who stood up and nodded her head in acknowledgement.

  ‘I came’, his eyes glanced over her, ‘to ask if you have given thought to Miss Morris’s offer?’

  ‘Yes,’ she said. ‘I would like to take advantage of her kindness.’

  ‘Good!’ He gave a swift smile and she thought how handsome he was when he wasn’t in serious repose. ‘I hoped that you would, and to that end I brought the necessary requirements to reply.’ He held up a portable writing case and opened it to reveal compartments holding pen and ink, paper and envelopes.

  His face crinkled into another smile to which she responded, as she remembered the paper she had used when writing to him. ‘If you would like to write it now, it will be my pleasure to post it for you – in case you change your mind!’

  ‘She won’t change her mind, Mr Newmarch,’ her mother replied for her. ‘Her father and me will see to that. Go on, Grace, sit down and write as Mr Newmarch says.’

  Grace sat in her father’s chair and her gown ballooned around her.

  ‘You have a new gown, Grace,’ Martin said. ‘The colour is most becoming, if you will permit me to say so.’

  She looked up and smiled. ‘Miss Emerson – she sent me a parcel of clothing! She’s heard already of Miss Morris’s offer. It’s very kind of her.’

  ‘Ah, yes!’ he said. ‘Of course. She will have to dress more soberly as a parson’s wife.’

  Lizzie Sheppard raised her eyebrows slightly and said, ‘So will they be suitable for Grace as an assistant to this lady – Miss Morris?’

  He cast his eyes over the parcel of clothing strewn across the table. He shook his head. ‘I really don’t know, Mrs Sheppard. I know nothing of fashion, but I’m sure that Miss Morris will say if they are not. She is a force to be reckoned with. A woman who will speak her mind.’ He looked squarely at her. ‘If you will forgive my impertinence, someone not wholly unlike yourself.’

  She pursed her lips and nodded. ‘That’s all right then. We don’t want our Grace to be spoilt and get ideas above her station, even though she must learn to know her own worth.’ She gazed at him questioningly. ‘Shall we lose her, do you think, Mr Newmarch?’

  Grace looked up in consternation at the question put about her, and heard Martin Newmarch say quietly, ‘Again I must answer honestly that I don’t know. Perhaps you will. But that will be your sacrifice for the common good. Will it be hard for you?’

  ‘Aye,’ Lizzie replied with a catch in her voice. ‘It will. But we’ll manage.’

  Daniel had obtained lodgings in a house in Percy Street, which crossed the bottom of Wright Street, and after talking to Grace he went back there for supper. But his appetite was poor and his thoughts were in turmoil, for it seemed that, if he wanted to start up in business as a toymaker, he would have to do it alone. Stupid of me, he thought. Why did I imagine that Grace and Ruby would be waiting for my return, ready to fall in with my plans? They have their own lives to lead, livings to earn, and times have been hard, much worse than when I left.

  He put on his jacket again and went out for a walk to clear his confused head and rethink his plans. He crossed into the town, skirting the town dock and walking down the long Lowgate, passing the church of the Holy Trinity and the butcher’s shambles. He went on towards the river front where he had been with Grace and Ruby to celebrate their birthdays. He leaned on the railing and looked down at the swirling choppy water, thinking of his mother. Well, at least she was found and identified, he pondered. Not like that poor woman they found upstairs in our house. Why was Ma so desperate? It was my fault for leaving. She was very angry when I told her I was going.

  ‘Give you a penny for ’em,’ a small voice breathed next to him.

  He turned. ‘Ruby! What you doing here?’

  Ruby gave a deep sigh and leaned on the railing beside him, not looking into the water, but with her back to it, looking across to the Vittoria Hotel. ‘Reminiscing,’ she said quietly. ‘Thinking about ’best day of my life.’ She turned to him and smiled, a sad smile which didn’t light up her face but which made her seem wistful and vulnerable. ‘Last year on my birthday we came here, you and me and Grace.’

  He turned around and looked across at the solid four-storey building. ‘I do remember, Ruby. It was a special day for me too.’

  ‘Was it?’ Her mouth trembled. ‘W
hy was it special to you?’

  He looked down at her and took hold of both her hands in his. ‘Because,’ he said softly, ‘I was with two very special people. Two people that I care about.’

  Her eyes filled with tears, which ran slowly down her cheeks. ‘We don’t have much in life, do we, Daniel? Being poor,’ she said huskily. ‘So it’s important that we cling to what we care about – and, and I’d hate to think that you’ll stop caring just because of what you might hear about me.’

  She took another shuddering breath. ‘I have to tell you, that ’name that Jamie called me – is true.’ She blinked away her tears and continued, her voice shaky. ‘I was desperate. I hadn’t paid ’rent, I’d lost my job, and then Jamie lent me money and persuaded me that he could find me work, like he did for his ma. I agreed and ’first man he took me to was Mr Newmarch – onny, onny –’

  She was embarrassed to tell him, but with an effort she went on, whilst Daniel continued to gaze down at her with his soft grey eyes. ‘Onny nowt happened. He recognized me, you see, from the mill, and he didn’t want to stay there in ’place that Jamie had taken us to. So he found somewhere else.’ She didn’t mention the Vittoria Hotel, it was far too painful. ‘And so I cut Jamie out, which made him mad at me. I never went with anybody else, onny Mr Newmarch.’

  ‘Do you care for him?’ Daniel asked quietly. ‘Does he make you happy?’

  ‘Happy? No!’ She shook her head. ‘I’m well fed, I’ve got money and nice clothes, but I can’t be seen with him, and my old life has gone. I’m caged. I live in luxury, but I’m caged.’

  ‘And would you like to fly out of that cage?’ he asked hopefully.

  She hesitated. That was the crux of the matter, wasn’t it? Should she take the risk and sail off to another country with Edward, leaving everyone she cared for, and not knowing what lay in front of her? Or should she stay and drift back into the old life of poverty and uncertainty?

  ‘I have ’chance,’ she said. ‘He’s asked me to go to America with him. Start a new life, where it won’t matter that I’m not of his class. I’d be his wife in all but name.’